“You made me feel very comfortable from the get go. I like how you took the time to explain things and read our body language to know when to slow down or re-explain, or just stop and change directions.” — Eileen K. More Client Comments
Comparing divorce mediation to other ways to get divorced.
Mediation is a process that is being recognized and embraced in many areas, but none more significantly than the difficult process of getting divorced. In many ways, the mediation process is tailor-made for helping couples work through the challenges involved in separating their lives.
Rather than leaving your fate to a total stranger (judge) that has very little time to spend on your case, you can choose to be actively involved in deciding how to address almost every aspect of your divorce. Rather than preparing for and focusing on an adversarial legal battle that destroys relationships (with your former partner and potentially with your children) and drains both your bank account and your mental health, you can engage in a constructive process where you have the opportunity to present your needs and priorities and have them addressed. And rather than having the court tell you when you can see your children, you can arrange a schedule that is not only based on the realities of your life, but that can also allow for some flexibility based on the positive co-parenting relationship that is much more likely in a mediated divorce.
The main benefits of divorce mediation include:
- Money — a mediated divorce typically costs much less than a litigated divorce (in many cases 75% less) – so you can save your hard-earned money for new housing needs, your children’s college fund or a much needed post-divorce vacation. Additionally, with mediation you pay as you go rather than paying a large retainer before you even get started.
- Time — a mediated divorce often takes less than 6 months and allows you to move on with your life much sooner. On the other hand, a highly litigated divorce can drag on for several years all the while depleting your time, your energy and your money.
- Lower Stress Levels — divorce is hard enough without it becoming a battle and mediation helps couples minimize stressful, adversarial struggles. In addition, people generally experience less stress when they are actually involved in the process and have the ability to make their own decisions, rather than having life-altering decisions dictated to them.
- Effective Parenting — if you have children, it is important to be able to behave civilly around each other and minimize the disturbance your children will experience. You may be ending your marriage, but you’re both going to be parents for the rest of your life. Mediation allows you the opportunity to discuss how best to arrange your ongoing co-parenting relationship.
- Control — in mediation the parties retain control over the outcome rather than handing it over to a total stranger (judge) to make life-altering decisions for them. You can prioritize your individual needs and wants so that you make sure they get addressed. You may not get everything you want, but at least you can emphasize what you need and what is most important to you.
- Privacy — mediation allows you to keep your issues private rather than having them aired in court or memorialized forever in public court paperwork. No one wants their ‘dirty laundry’ out there for all to see (even if your current inclination is to air your partner’s ‘dirty laundry’, you would probably like to keep yours private). Mediation is confidential and allows the parties to discuss sensitive issues in the privacy of the mediator’s office.